Achievement through not achieving?

I don’t know if you saw camp’s recent email about achievement badges and the importance of praise, but it got me thinking…

My family is a family of “doers” and I expect my kids to at least try new things. Not all activities appeal to all people just like all foods don’t appeal to all people. But I am a firm believer in trying and then making an educated decision.

So you can imagine my frustration every time I see my 5 year old in a pool and never never never putting her face in the water. She just won’t try it. It drives me crazy. And this year, most of her friends at camp will be swimming on their own, having a grand ol’ time in the deep end l while my daughter remains in the shallow end, refusing even to get her chin wet. How will she keep up? Will her peers see her as a baby and not want to play with her? How will she develop into a confident, productive adult if she cannot muster up the courage to attempt such kiddie-pool fundamentals?

The reality is, it doesn’t matter! I may feel disappointed when I see all the other 5 years olds screaming and dunking and having the time of their lives. But my daughter isn’t disappointed. She is the kid who throws the toys into the deep end for the others to retrieve.  She is the cheering squad when someone in her group passes the deep water test. And when swim time is over, she finds her way back into the crowd, hugging everyone and chatting about what’s next.

My daughter cannot swim. But she has formed coping mechanisms to fill in what I so feared she would be missing from not doing something that she will eventually learn anyway! She is as well-adjusted as they come. And she has learned how to be so through NOT achieving.

Amazing. Lesson learned.

Camp Planet Fun

My daughter is from “Planet Fun.” A bit spacey, she can find the game in the most mundane of situations and appear to be having a good time no matter what she’s doing. While most kids (including my other child!) can get cranky and drop the B-bomb (Bored!) every 3 minutes, my little space cadet seems to always be humming a happy tune and tapping her leg to the rhythm in her head. We imagine that it’s quite loud on Planet Fun, what with all the music and chit chat that seems in constant stream.

So when she came home from camp one day and told me that she didn’t want to go back tomorrow, I knew something was seriously up. This kid will do anything. That’s sort of the problem! She gets herself into a lot of trouble because she can’t say no. But not wanting to participate was a new issue for us and I was determined to get to the bottom of it.

This is where quality staff training really pays off. The staff at Camp Jacobson jumped in and were able to get to the bottom of things in a hurry.  My daughter’s group leader had noticed the change in my daughter immediately and when I called to alert the camp, they already knew what I was calling about and were ready with a plan of attack.

Turns out, a girl in her group had decided that it was cooler to sit on the sidelines and refer to activities as “stupid” than to play them. Part of the blessing of being a “Planet Funian” is that my daughter is relatively naïve and therefore didn’t even know that not participating was an option. This new girl was savvy, opinionated, and ruining the care-free vibe in my daughter’s camp group! But staffers were able to navigate the sticky situation of different personalities meshing in a not so healthy manner and in a matter of days, my daughter was once again happily shaking her hips while in the outfield awaiting a ball to come her way. But this time, it was a conscious decision to play, rather than just where she landed. And that made me happy.

My hat off to my daughter’s group leader, who though just a young woman herself, was able to get everybody—even Little Ms. Too Cool For Camp—up and enjoying themselves.

A snapshot of the camp day

I love seeing pictures of my kids at camp during the day. When they get home, they are usually too tired to talk about what they did…which is a pretty good sign that they did a lot of fun stuff. But what exactly was it? Having photos posted online makes me feel like I can really experience their excitement. One photo last year was of my daughter’s face as she was jumping into the pool by herself for the very first time! It was magical. Another shot of my older daughter flying on a zip line high in the sky almost gave me a heart attack! I had no idea she was that brave!

Of course, some people take it too far…I know a woman whose children are at sleepaway camp. She patrols the internet all day long and calls the camp EVERY TIME she sees a picture of one of her kids NOT smiling! REALLY?!? Doesn’t she understand that a picture is a single moment in time and in the blink of an eye her daughter’s expression will change? And even if her daughter was having a hard day, isn’t that what life is? Ups and downs? Trials and errors?

It’s nice to be a fly on the way, but stay there-or your children will swat you away!

Go ahead- take the ride!

Why would anyone NOT accept transportation to and from camp? I cannot fathom why any parent would say “no thank you” to one of the most convenient amenities of modern day camping!

My eldest daughter has been taking a bus to and from camp since she was 2 years old. On that first day, she flashed me her winning smile, told me she loved me, turned around and off she went. We had been prepping her for a couple of weeks prior…you are going to be riding on the bus like a big girl, there will be other children there to talk to and play with, there will be a grownup driving just like when I drive you in the car… I could see her floating away with pride that she was accomplishing something that may have seemed a bit scary or overwhelming at first. It was a proud moment for both of us.

Summer camps, especially reputable camps, have a lot riding on their drivers (no pun intended!). In my experience, I have found these drivers to be the most responsible, serious and smartest of all the staff members. They are specially trained not only to drive said bus, but in conflict resolution, child development and CPR. They are more than equipped to travel to a local camp and back during daylight hours. And they are always connected via cell phone should anything out of the ordinary happen.

I don’t understand when adults say “I’m just not ready” to do something that involves a rite of passage for their child. Why deny your child ANY experience where he/she can take what you’ve worked years to teach them–to be independent, thoughtful team players–and put it to good use?

Salad, whole grains, baked chicken…and pancake bar.

I put up with a lot of annoying behavior in order to give my kids the healthiest food possible: The eye rolling, the whining, and my personal favorite, the “but so-and-so gets to have it!” They are young, so my girls do not understand why Cocoa Pebbles for breakfast or lollipops for snacks are not good options. I let them indulge once a day…after a healthy and well-balanced dinner, they are rewarded with the dessert of their choice. Ok, so sometimes I use dessert as a bargaining tactic–eat it NOW or no dessert!– but I’m not perfect. And if they discovered the hidden mini Snickers bars my husband and I hoard,… Ugh! The hipocracy!

When they go to camp, snack and lunch choices are out of my control. So I’m SO grateful that the lunches at Camp Jacobson are actually not too bad! Baked chicken instead of fried, fruit with every meal, and lots of whole grains. I’m told it’s a big change from the way things used to be. They have clearly put a lot of thought and energy into improving the menu. And my kids always eat. Maybe it’s because they have worked up such a crazy appitite from all the activities. Regardless, I love it!…Except for Make Your Own Pancake Day, when the entire meal revolves around plates full of flapjacks loaded with as much chocolate chips and whipped cream as any 8 year old could want. It’s disgusting to see them eat it. Believe me…I’ve been there. But I guess that kind of indulgence twice a summer isn’t going to hurt. And it makes for some very funny pictures.

Whew! That’s a relief!

As the mother of a child with Type 1 Diabetes, there is no shortage of difficult decisions to be made. Thankfully, Camp Jacobson at Robin Hood is able to take some of those decisions off my plate-at least during the magical 8 weeks that my daughter attends camp. With nurses specially trained to attend to my diabetic daughter’s unique needs, I am able to take a break from my worries while she is in their care. From carb counting to pump support, I know that my daughter is in excellent hands. And while I will never again know what it is like to be carefree, I do so much appreciate anyone who is willing to join our “team,” taking on such a huge responsibility and tending to my child with love and professionalism.

Summer Clothing- Style or Functionality? Or Both?

Like all mothers, I want my children to look and feel their best. And while I’m not sure that “clothes make the man,” I do believe that they play a role in how a person feels about herself, and in turn how the world perceives and treats a person. So, I do make an effort when planning my children’s wardrobes. Their clothes should be clean, somewhat trendy and suit their personalities. I want to keep it fun, but I also have a budget. And staying within that budget often means not shopping at my favorite stores as often as I’d like

During those spring months, when many of my friends are making their appointments with the wardrobe specialists at Denny’s and Lester’s in anticipation of another summer at camp, I make my way to Old Navy and H&M. These stores have funky, adorable clothes for much less. So not every tank my girls wear will be bedazzled to the nines. What I know I can look forward to is dumping my kids’ filthy clothes into the garbage at the end of the summer and starting fresh in the fall. I don’t worry when the girls come home covered in paint, over a layer of dirt, over a layer of ice cream. Isn’t that what summer is all about??

What do you want to see?

Summer camp, (especially summer camp in Long Island), can be a surprisingly competitive industry!  You would think camp director’s sit down and discuss best practices, what works, and what to stay away from…but it’s kind of a little more like West Side Story than you might expect.  Don’t get me wrong, I understand the idea- I doubt Staples and Office Depot compare notes…On the other hand, camp is more like school than a business–can’t we all win here?  Isn’t the final goal a great experience for kids no matter where they go?  

It seems like at Camp Jacobson at Robin Hood, they really want to get the dialogue going with all camps.  They want to open their notes and share their secrets.  (If you’re a camp reading this blog, welcome- you’re not spying!)  Contact the camp directors and ask them your question.  Creating the best camp possible isn’t only about getting along with your campers and staff, but working well with the neighbors too!   

Are you viral?

Any camp that tells you that they have the perfect method of communicating with their families are just plain not telling the truth!  It seems everyone is different!  Call me crazy, but I prefer old fashioned mail.  That way, when I’m home and I have the dog and my kids running around, I can just find time to open a letter at my own leisure.  I hardly have time to answer a call, let alone read long emails!  (I do see the irony in the fact that I’m blogging)  That said, I know some people hate mail, and prefer emails.  Some people like being called and some resent being “telemarketed” to!  I know at Camp Jacobson at Robin Hood, they try to do all of it, in the hopes that in one way, everyone will get the correct information.  What a generation we live in- videos on youtube, updates on facebook and even tweets (what’s a tweet anyways, embarrassed to ask) out to the universe.  All this and the methods of communication are still not 100%.

Maybe there’s too much to consider and now people just ignore everything!  Hmmm….in fact, is anybody out there?!?

Choosing the right camp…

As a mom currently considering sleep-away camp for my oldest, I find myself wondering what questions to ask a sleep-away director  that I wouldn’t think to ask a day camp director…Should I have the same expectations?  I have gotten so comfortable with my children here at Camp Jacobson at Robin Hood, that although I know my son would love sleep-away, part of me wants to stick with what’s comfortable!  Does anyone out there have similar thoughts?  I did some research and found this link for those of us doing our camp research:

http://www.greatschools.org/students/summer-activities/228-choosing-summer-camp.gs

I’m always looking for feedback from like-minded people!  Do I stay where we’re all happy or risk a new adventure?!?